There is a Neil Young/Crazy House song called Wonderin’ and it has a great line in it – “I’ve been working all day to keep my heart from sadness”. I have it written on a post-it over my desk in work. I keep it there to remind me every so often, in those moments when I’m looking around and pondering, that I should keep my nose to the grindstone to keep my head from getting flooded with other thoughts.
Today was one of those days. My brother Liam would have been 42 today…
I was at my cousin Joseph’s 21st birthday party on Saturday night. He is the youngest cousin out of thirty odd first cousins. My brother was the oldest. They share today as their birthday.
At the party on Saturday night there was a slide show with loads of photos of Joseph and heaps of family photos from when we were all growing up. Part of me was overjoyed to see Liam feature in the revolving slide show. But a part of me was sad too to think of the missed opportunites. The missed chances of laughing with him, of fighting with him, of celebrating birthdays.
It was a tough day today. I may have been working all day long but I dont think that there was much that would keep my heart from sadness today.
