Yesterday, for the second time in as many years, a close male colleague of mine confined in me that his wife was pregnant. Last time the guy’s wife had only just confirmed she was pregnant the day before. This time, a different guy and his wife had just had their first scan at 9 weeks. Dear God lads, do ye not realise that you’re not really supposed to tell anyone until after 12 weeks! But somehow it’s okay to tell me?
Why? Because I’m just another worker monkey? Or is it because you think I’ll understand your excitement somehow? Or is it because if ye told anyone that knows your wife, and she found out that you had told anyone before 3 months, that she would risk leaving her child fatherless and just kill you?
It’s wonderful news when you hear about a new life being brought into the world (don’t get me started on when life actually begins, I don’t do such arguments), but you need to keep it to yourself for a little while. God forbid anything happens in the next few weeks, and you have to tell me, your colleague who you see every day and talk to 5 times an hour, that she had lost the baby or there has been some problem. Maybe I’m just superstitious, but I don’t want to be a secret keeper for others, it’s enough that I’m my own secret keeper most days.
Do like like yerman who knew that the king had donkey ears; tell it to a tree!
3 Comments for Secret Keeper
Sharon | March 19, 2010 at 11:35 pm
Enormous | March 20, 2010 at 12:02 am
Hi louise,
I think it’s a real compliment to you that you inspire such trust in folk. Also even if the pregnancy doesn’t go as hoped it’s really important that the would be fathers have someone to share their feelings with. It can be a lonely & tough time for them. Is it possible that you fear having to deal with that potential tidal wave of emotion?
E
Author comment by therub | March 20, 2010 at 12:21 am
Could be, E. Maybe it’s that I share their excitement, but couldnt adequately share the loss if anything happened.
I hear ya! I know how hard it is too keep it in but After having a friend who didn’t make 12 weeks I’d never tell! That was heartbreaking, they were so excited. Good news in they’re both still quite young and happy to try again